


Birth-Don't

by SM (abcdefuk_off)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxious Remus Lupin, Domestic Boyfriends, Fluff and Angst, Heavy on the Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, Sirius Black's Birthday, i'll be honest, it's just cute shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcdefuk_off/pseuds/SM
Summary: Sirius doesn't celebrate his birthday, and Remus believes that is blatantly unacceptable.  Cue feelings.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 80





	Birth-Don't

Note: It's very late and I'm very tired. I have to be up at work in 4hrs, but I really wanted to post this while it was still (for the next 7mins) November 3rd. Point being: please don't come at me for spelling or grammar issues, I wrote this with my eyes half-open. 

* * *

Remus shifted nervously in his seat, reaching forward to adjust the ribbon tied around the package. The blue decoration clashed with the newspaper wrapping, but Remus didn’t have the money for that fancy shit that came in roles, and though his boyfriend insisted he was welcome to it, it seemed rather wrong to use Sirius’ money to wrap his own gift. 

He chewed on his lip as he shifted the small cake to a more central position on the table, before he glanced up at the bedroom door. He could hear the younger man (because he was younger, several months in fact) moving about and was equal parts excited and terrified for him to enter the kitchen.

He had absolutely no idea how his boyfriend was going to react, because the fact of the matter was, they had never celebrated Sirius’ birthday before. 

It wasn’t that they hadn’t wanted to – of course the tight-knit group of friends had always been eager to celebrate one another and were always thrilled to have any excuse at all to be loud and rambunctious together, and birthdays were ideal for getting away with such behaviour. 

They had met as young boys, though, and had hardly been organized enough to go around the room and announce their birthdates, imprinting them on a shared calendar. They had managed to make mental notes of each individual’s birthday as first year progressed, making a point to take notice of the specific date on whatever day one of their friends was owled a particularly large package or an enthusiastic birthday note from their parents. The boys simply assumed, since that never happened for Sirius during first year, that his birthday was during break. When the time had come they had of course written to him about it, but communication with the young Black was always rather sporadic during breaks, and when his letters did arrive they tended to be brief and blatantly ignoring the majority of the inquiries that had been posed, including those regarding his birthday. 

The day after they threw an outlandish birthday party for Peter in second year (the majority of the planning having been done by Sirius himself), both James and Remus asked their friend once again about his birthday and were coldly and firmly dismissed. They had realized by that point that Sirius’ parents weren’t the type to be sending gifts or cards, which meant his birthday could very well be during the school year. James had expressed to Remus on several occasions how bloody dreadful it was that the special day had probably already passed with no well-wishes or celebrations. They wanted an answer and they both wanted to know what their friend’s issue was with his birthday, but by second year they all knew better than to push Sirius. The young black could be encouraged and prodded, even cajoled, but never pushed. 

All three boys made several attempts through the years (some more subtle than others) to discover the date of their friend’s birth, but they never had any luck; and while it became increasingly frustrating it was never so grave a matter that any sort of true conflict would be deemed necessary. Besides, as much as it aggravated the lot of them, James especially, it couldn’t be argued that it was Sirius’ birthday and therefore his information to do with it as he wished. And it was evident he had no desire to share it. 

Remus was aware that when the young Black had spent a summer with the Potters, James and his parents all found it rather unacceptable that he didn’t have his own day of celebration; and therefore James took it upon himself to arbitrarily choose a day in August to be Sirius’ honorary birthday. Sirius had fought the decision fairly hard, only relenting when James’ mother vowed not to let her son organize any sort of lavish affair and insisted that it would be a simple dinner with a guest list of his own choosing. 

Remus could tell Sirius’ made-up birthday wasn’t so much something he enjoyed as it was a method to put an end James’ relentless crusade, so he elected to spoil his boyfriend extra over Christmas instead. A couple years ago he spent ever dime he had to buy Sirius a leather jacket, Remus smiled thinking of how it had quickly become, and still remained, the younger lad’s favourite piece of clothing. 

Remus fidgeted in the kitchen chair, tapping soundlessly against the wooden table as he trained his gaze on their bedroom door, waiting for the knob to turn. 

He hadn’t discovered his boyfriend’s date of birth until just this summer when they’d moved into a flat together. They had to sign the lease together and had been required to present specific information and that was when Remus had spotted the date. He had kept the discovery to himself, not knowing what to do with it, but when the special day approached, Remus knew he had to do _something_ to celebrate the day his favourite person arrived in the world. 

He was having second thoughts now though, as he stared at the small cake and the sloppy newspaper-wrapped gift resting on the round table. The celebration both felt like way too much and far too little. 

Sirius always went all-out for everyone else’s birthdays, Remus’ especially. Everything from surprise parties with outlandish décor, to presents that were far too expensive, and more food than could ever be eaten in a single day. It felt like the meager contents on the table were entirely insufficient for someone who always went the extra-mile for all of his friends. Yet, Remus feared it was all too much, because Sirius had never expressed any interest in celebrating his birthday; actually, it was the exact opposite, he had displayed a clear disinterest in doing just that. And it wasn’t as though the older boy had acquired the information honestly, he had just happened upon it, it hadn’t been entrusted to him. That was why he hadn’t told James or Peter, or arranged a party with any of their friends. It didn’t seem right to share knowledge that he wasn’t meant to have – and that wasn’t his to impart upon even their most trusted friends. 

Sirius obviously had reasons for keeping his birth date to himself, and while Remus didn’t understand it and was firmly dismissed any occasion he had tried to, he couldn’t go back in time and pretend he didn’t know the significance of November 3rd.

But perhaps the cake was too much. 

Just as the scarred hands reached forward to remove the dessert from view, the bedroom door swung open and a beautifully slender boy sauntered into the kitchen, staring down at the cardigan he was buttoning around himself. In any other less-anxiety producing situation, Remus would have taken a moment to admire the mess of black curls framing those gorgeous cheekbones and try to calm the butterflies that always attacked his insides at the sight of his boyfriend swaddled in one of his own old knit cardigans.

“Oi! Rem, I thought you were just puttin’ the kettle on. What’s taking so—

Sirius trailed off as he glanced up, those captivating storm-grey eyes locking first on Remus, before drifting down to the table. 

The young werewolf was holding his breath, his heart pounding in his chest, waiting for some sort of reaction – negative or positive he was certain the response would be strong, Sirius was not one for subtlety. 

But all the other lad did was quirk his head to the side, his nose crinkling in clear confusion. 

“What’s going on, Moons?” He questioned, glancing at the boy still twitching in his seat. 

Remus faltered for a moment, he hadn’t planned for confusion, which was ironic because he had prepared for just about every other reaction. 

But of course Sirius Black was being as unpredictable as ever. 

“It’s November 3rd.” He rasped simply, forcing himself to stop nervously twisting his fingers and place his palms flat on the table top; as he sucked in a deep breath, he kept a close watch of the expressions playing across those delicate features. 

The pale face gathered more creases as Sirius’ perplexity appeared to grow, before his eyebrows raised in a flash of surprise, that was followed quickly by a set jaw and his gaze dropping to the floor. 

“Remus.” 

It certainly wasn’t a shout of elation, it also wasn’t a scold, but rather a sigh of despondent resignation – which might have not been the worse response, but it certainly wasn’t how anyone was meant to sound on their birthday. 

“I’m sorry.” Remus announced, standing from his chair and moving halfway around the table, but still leaving Sirius his space, knowing the younger man had a tendency to seek distance when he was struggling emotionally – a practice that could no doubt be attributed to Walburga and Orion Black. 

Fucking monsters. 

Remus blinked, snapping his mind into focus. “I know you never wanted anyone to know and you never wanted a celebration, I don’t know why, but I know that. And I didn’t mean to cross a line or impede on your privacy, I just…when we were signing the lease, I saw the date and I couldn’t—I couldn’t do _nothing_ , Siri.”

His jaw was still clenched, but at least the younger lad was actually looking at Remus now. The taller boy took a step closer, his eyes staring earnestly into those captivating grey orbs. 

“And if you want – if you want we can toss the cake and I’ll save the gift for Christmas, and we can just get on like it’s a regular day. Or, if you want – there’s no party, I didn’t tell anyone, there’s nothing extravagant planned – we could just celebrate, just the two of us.” Remus suggested, hoping with all he was worth that Sirius would choose the second option. 

The dark-haired man was surprisingly difficult to read as he stared across the small space at his boyfriend. 

“Either way – whatever you choose – if it’s okay, I would really like to know why your birthday is so … off limits.” Remus pleaded softly. 

“Why?” Sirius croaked after a moment.

Remus frowned slightly, squinting down at his twisting fingers as he gathered his thoughts before looking back up at the man he loved so dearly. 

“Because if I know why, if I can understand your reasons, maybe then I’ll be able to work out a way we can celebrate that you would be okay with.” He explained softly. 

Sirius’ gaze was searching as he locked onto Remus’ own pleading one. 

“Why does it matter so much, Rem? It’s just a day.” The young Black stated, his cracking emotional voice paired with a shrug of derision.

Ever the contradiction, his Sirius.

“You are the most important person in my life, Pads. You are the one I love most on this planet.” 

And bloody hell did Remus wish for the day that Sirius’ eyes did not widen in surprise at such a declaration. It was like the boy was shocked every time Remus confessed his love, and while it had been endearing the first time, now it was just breaking Remus’ heart. Because originally he thought perhaps Sirius was simply taken by the surprise with the force of the affection the older boy had for him, but after awhile Remus realized that Sirius loved him with that same level of ferocity; therefore its existence was not what shocked the dark-haired lad, but rather the fact that it was aimed in his direction. 

“This day matters because _you_ matter, Sirius. You matter to me.” Remus declared, speaking a truth that was meant to be evident, but when it came to matters of the heart it was not rare that the young Black needed things spelt out a little more clearly. Even after their past few years of being _together,_ Sirius was still learning what it meant to be on the receiving end of proper love. 

That was okay, though. Remus had always been the patient sort. 

Sirius took a step closer, his jaw finally unclenching as he reached for Remus. Those long cool fingers cupping the taller lad’s cheek, allowing Remus to breathe a sigh of relief before a thin pair of lips had locked onto his own. 

The kiss was gentle and sweet and everything he needed to be reassured of Sirius’ love for him. Because unlike Sirius, who often needed to hear the words, what Remus craved was actions. 

They rested their foreheads together for a moment, Remus’ fingers carding fondly through those black curls as Sirius’ hands slid from his boyfriend’s cheek to rest against his chest. They took time to settle and just breathe each other’s air before stepping away. Sirius appeared to visibly deflate, dropping down into a chair. Remus moved to the kettle – which he did, in fact, turn on – and made them both a cup of tea, returning to set them both onto the table and pulling the other chair around so he could sit close to Padfoot, their boney knees touching. 

He waited for Sirius to make the next move, whether he began to talk, or removed the cake from the table – either way Remus would be next to him, supporting him. 

“I didn’t mean to hide it really, not at first.” Sirius began after a few sips of his tea, his gaze staring imploringly into Remus’. 

The other boy nodded, knowing Sirius was being honest and also knowing his boyfriend was looking desperately to feel understood. 

“I just didn’t know it.” 

The words were spoken soft and broken, like a dark confession. Remus instinctively reached out and grasped Sirius’ hand, holding tight when those slender fingers locked around his own. 

“You didn’t know what day your birthday was?” He asked, trying to keep the shock from his voice. 

Sirius nodded, shrugging quickly after. “The Blacks don’t do birthdays.” He stated simply. 

Remus scowled, knowing that there had never been a single fucking happy celebration in that cursed household, but the fact that birthdays weren’t even acknowledged was egregiously absurd. 

“And it seemed stupid to just make up a day. I know James did and that’s fine, it doesn’t bother me, but it’s not like it means anything really.” 

Remus nodded, knowing already how Sirius felt about his honorary birthday. 

“It’s not like I hate my birthday or anything, I just never knew what it was and it felt ridiculous to fake it – like desperate or something, you know?” 

Remus nodded again, there was a little Sirius hated more than pity, and it would be awfully hard not to pity the child who didn’t know his own birthday. 

“And by the time I found out I just hated the idea of everyone making a thing of it. Everyone staring at me and expecting me to act a certain way… it just, the thought of it, it made me…” Sirius trailed off, seemingly searching for a word. 

“Anxious?” Remus supplied softly, because that was a feeling he more than understood. And it would be frustrating to have to act excited about a day that hadn’t ever meant anything to you before. As children James, Remus, and Peter had all (like most kids) been conditioned to look forward to a day that they had been taught was special, a day where annually they experienced celebration and joy. Sirius hadn’t had that as a kid, and to be expected to all of the sudden have those same feelings and that same excitement without the experiences that would elicit such a reaction – well that would be an impossible expectation to meet. 

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“When did you find out?” Remus queried after a few minutes had passed. 

A joyless smile pulled at Sirius’ lips. “When I was disinherited.” 

Remus flinched, remembering all too well the day Sirius had arrived beaten and bloody at the Potters. Those bastard parents of his had tried so hard to break the beautiful boy that Remus loved so fiercely. The boy that taught him the meaning of true friendship, the boy who did the impossible – became an animagus – all so that Remus would no longer have to suffer alone the way he had his entire life. Sirius who would do _anything_ for the ones he loved and who was worth far more than the world had to offer him – how could his parents not see their talented, selfless, courageous son for the treasure that he was?! To this day it still infuriated Remus down to his very core, it awoke the wolf inside of him that was often dormant until the full-moon. 

“Turns out there is more to being disinherited than just being blasted off the tapestry.” Sirius continued with a dark humourless chuckle. “I got served with actual paperwork shortly after I got to Jamie’s. It listed my full name as well as my date of birth. I was just relieved that I was actually sixteen, because I wanted that motorcycle.” 

Remus could hear the joke and knew he was meant to play off of it the way he often would, but he was too busy trying to pin his heart back together. 

He hadn’t noticed he was biting his lip until Sirius leaned forward and used the pad of his thumb to gently pull the soft tissue from between Remus’ teeth

“Quit it with that before you make it bleed.” He chastised softly, moving in even closer to press his pink lips against the bitten ones. 

Remus could only hope that the slow tender kiss was as healing for Sirius as it was for him, by the soft smile that graced the pale complexion when they parted, he was fairly certain his wish came true. He smiled back, his fingers reaching up to brush the raven hair out the grey gaze, only to have his hand caught and pressed to those familiar lips once more. 

“Thank you, Moons.” Sirius whispered as he brought their clasped hands down onto the table. 

Remus didn’t know if he was being thanked for listening, or the meager birthday celebration, or perhaps simply his patience – which was something Sirius often expressed his appreciation for, but it really didn’t matter because regardless, his response was the same. 

“Anything for you, Pads.” He vowed, bringing their joined hands up so he could press a kiss to the soft skin. 

Sirius stared at him, his eyes brimming with love and wonder, before his lips slowly curved up into a rueful grin. “That cake wouldn’t happen to be chocolate, would it, Rem?” 

Remus grinned in response. “Is there any other kind, Siri?” 

The laugh he received was bright and beautiful and filled Remus with all sorts of disgustingly soft emotions and was only rivaled by the blinding smile that lit Sirius’ expression the moment he opened his gift – a limited edition David Bowie record he had been searching for to replace one of the many things he had been forced to leave behind when he’d escaped the house of Black.

Later that night, after too much cake and even more pizza, when the two were tangled up on the couch and Remus was combing his fingers through that unruly black hair, Sirius looked up, his chin resting against his boyfriend’s chest as he smiles up at him saying, “Best birthday ever, Moons.”

“The first of many, Pads.” Remus declared, sealing the promise with a kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> My first wolfstar fic! Thoughts? Should I write more perhaps? Let me know what you thought of it! Hopefully it's not absolute rubbish, because I did not edit this one. Thanks for reading! - Sam


End file.
